Why Is Everything Getting on My Nerves?

By TaShara Davis, LPC
Founder, Brighter Side Counseling

You know those days when everybody seems to be getting on your nerves?

The questions are annoying. The noise is annoying. Somebody needs one more thing from you. Things you normally wouldn’t think twice about suddenly feel like entirely too much.

Before deciding everybody around you has suddenly become irritating, ask yourself:

How much am I carrying right now?

Sometimes everything isn’t getting on your nerves. Sometimes your capacity is just low.

When Your Cup Is Already Full

Think about a cup that’s filled all the way to the top.

Sure, you can pour something else into it, but something is going to spill. Keep pouring and eventually you’ve got a hot mess.

We can be the same way.

When you’re already carrying work, family, responsibilities, decisions, other people’s needs, your own emotions, and just life in general, something small can feel huge.

That’s how three dirty dishes in the sink can turn into a giant argument with your husband.

It’s probably not about the dishes.

You may be overwhelmed. You may need help. You may have a need you haven’t expressed, or one you’ve expressed that still isn’t being met.

The dishes just happened to be what made the cup overflow.

Maybe Your Irritation Is Trying to Tell You Something

Irritability can be a warning sign.

It can be your cue to slow down and check in with yourself instead of continuing to push through like nothing is wrong.

Because when we tolerate too much for too long, eventually we tend to shut down or blow up.

Pay attention when things that never bothered you suddenly start bothering you. If normal conversations, everyday noises, small requests, or people’s usual habits suddenly have you ready to lose it, something may have changed.

And it might not be them.

Check Your Boundaries, Too

Boundaries help protect your capacity. They keep you from taking on more than you can reasonably carry and show people what you will and will not tolerate.

But here’s the thing.

You actually have to enforce them.

A boundary that disappears every time someone gets disappointed or needs something from you isn’t doing much to protect your peace.

Sometimes irritation is the clue that you’ve been saying yes when you really needed to say no.

So, What Do You Do?

Take inventory.

Literally write down what’s on your plate. Look at it and ask what actually has to stay there and what can come off.

Look at the people around you, too. Who pours into you? Who consistently takes from you?

And if you have the ability to take a mental health day, or even just give yourself some intentional time to stop, do it.

Sometimes we don’t need to figure out how to squeeze one more thing into the day.

Sometimes we just need to stop.

So before you decide everybody is getting on your nerves, ask yourself:

Why?

Because if your irritation could talk, it might be saying:

“I keep telling you that I can’t take anymore, but you’re not listening.”

Maybe it’s time to listen.