I Built the Life I Prayed For. So Why Am I So Tired? A Saturday Special
By TaShara Davis, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor | Founder, Brighter Side Counseling
I don’t normally blog on Saturdays, but I saw something today that stopped me.
A woman talked about working hard to build a good life and then realizing she was exhausted trying to maintain it.
And whew.
Because what happens when the life exhausting you isn’t a bad life?
What happens when you prayed for this?
I wanted the career. I wanted leadership. I went back to school and earned the letters behind my name. I wanted my own practice. I wanted a family, a home, and a life I could be proud of.
And I did.
That’s what makes burnout complicated.
When Being Capable Becomes Your Identity
I’m used to being the person who figures it out.
I’m a wife. A mom. A leader. A counselor. A business owner. A friend. And depending on the day, I’m probably somebody’s problem solver too.
People see you functioning, so they assume you’re fine.
You went to work. Answered the emails. Handled the problem. Took care of your family. Showed up for everybody.
But sometimes I do all of that and still sit in my car for a few extra minutes because I don’t have anything left to give.
Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I shut down. Sometimes my anxiety gets loud. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to quit everything. Not because I hate my life, but because I want a break from being responsible for so much of it.
Then comes the guilt.
I asked for this. I worked for this. I should be grateful.
And I am.
But I’m also tired.
Gratitude and Exhaustion Can Exist Together
I’m learning that both can be true.
I can love my family and still need space.
I can be grateful for my career and admit that leadership is heavy.
I can be proud of becoming a therapist and still get tired of pouring into everybody else.
I can love building my business and still wonder when I’m supposed to rest.
I can be blessed and overwhelmed at the same time.
One doesn’t cancel out the other.
Lately, I’ve been sitting with one question:
Where am I in the life I created?
Not Director TaShara.
Not Counselor TaShara.
Not somebody’s wife, mama, boss, therapist, or problem solver.
Just me.
I don’t have a beautiful answer to wrap this up with. I’m still figuring out what success looks like when it doesn’t require running myself into the ground.
But I know this:
I don’t want to escape the life I built. I want to learn how to actually live in it.
Maybe burnout isn’t always telling us to walk away. Maybe sometimes it’s telling us that something about the way we’re living needs to change.
I’m still figuring out what that looks like for me.
And apparently, that thought couldn’t wait until Sunday.
If you’ve been functioning on the outside while feeling exhausted on the inside, you don’t have to wait until everything falls apart to make room for yourself.
Ready to make some room for you?
Contact Brighter Side Counseling