Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

By TaShara Davis, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor | Founder, Brighter Side Counseling

I normally post on Wednesdays.

It’s Friday night.

Some weeks simply do not go according to plan.

This was one of them.

There were responsibilities, emotions, decisions that required more thought than I seemed to have available, and a pile of laundry that has somehow grown to approximately the height of a first grader.

The laundry is still there.

And surprisingly, I’m okay with that.

Because somewhere between everything that needed my attention this week, I found myself thinking about something bigger:

How easy is it to become comfortable being uncomfortable?

When Familiar Starts Feeling Like Safe

We usually think of comfort as something that feels good.

But sometimes comfort simply means familiar.

We can become accustomed to routines that exhaust us, environments that no longer fit us, relationships we've outgrown, or versions of ourselves that we're not sure we want to keep being.

Not because we're happy there.

Because we know how to function there.

We know the expectations. We know the problems. We know what tomorrow will probably look like.

There is security in knowing, even when what we know isn't necessarily what we want.

Sometimes familiar discomfort feels safer than unfamiliar possibility.

The Complicated Part About Change

It's easy to say we want something different.

Actually choosing something different is another story.

Change comes with questions.

What if I make the wrong decision?

What if what comes next isn't better?

What if I'm not ready?

And maybe one of the hardest:

What if I stretch myself and break?

I think there's a difference between wanting to grow and feeling completely fearless about growth.

We can want more for ourselves and still be afraid of what pursuing “more” might require.

We can know something needs to change without knowing exactly what that change should be.

Both things can be true.

Maybe We Don't Need the Whole Plan

There's pressure to figure things out quickly.

Pick a direction. Make the decision. Create the plan. Take the leap.

But maybe there's something valuable about the space before the decision too.

The space where we get curious.

Where we ask ourselves what we actually want instead of immediately asking what we're supposed to do.

Where we consider whether we're staying somewhere because it still fits us or simply because we've learned how to survive there.

Those aren't always easy questions.

But they're important ones.

Because staying exactly where we are is a choice too.

Stretching Without Breaking

I don't think growth always requires a dramatic leap.

Sometimes it starts much quieter than that.

Acknowledging that something doesn't fit anymore.

Allowing yourself to imagine another possibility.

Resting before making the next decision.

Giving yourself permission to not have everything figured out today.

Maybe the goal isn't to stretch ourselves until we break.

Maybe it's learning how to stretch without abandoning ourselves in the process.

To grow without believing we have to rush.

To change without pretending we're not afraid.

To make room for the possibility that the life we've gotten used to isn't necessarily the only life available to us.

And sometimes, making that room means accepting that everything doesn't have to get done today.

Including the laundry.

It'll still be there tomorrow.

Unfortunately.

If you’re questioning whether something in your life still fits, therapy can give you space to explore what you want without requiring you to have all the answers first.

Ready to make some room for you?
Contact Brighter Side Counseling